Not getting interviewed for a job that I, hands down, would have rocked at, has given me a lot to think about. Mainly, the "what next?" question has crossed my mind several times. If I didn't get the job, the plan was to always continue the application process, and go back to school next fall. BUT... in the 6 weeks that I waited to hear about the job, a lot happened that made me reconsider....
Well, actually, not a lot happened... I think I grew up some more. I realized that I don't need to move to change my life... it might not even make it better! Really, to change my life, I need to force myself to be happier with what I have. And strangely enough, the idea of moving away to graduate school made me start appreciating everything and everyone around me. You know, my roommate is always talking about leaving and moving out of VT. Sometimes I'm not really entirely sure she even enjoys my company anymore, so I take it personally when she says all of that. I, too, want to move, but I don't want to move to leave people... and I'm not sure now is the time for me.
Lately at the gallery I've been given a lot of responsibility, and they've definitely shown how much they appreciate me. I just want more from them. Not money (necessarily), but more work focused on what I'm interested in... And actually, by sticking around I might be giving myself that chance for some of our upcoming shows :).
PLUS why would I go back to school to get a degree in a field where there aren't any jobs and too many people trying to get the ones there are, anyway.
So I have a lot to think about. And I'm thinking still. But I am not the same person I was a year ago when the devil and I broke up. I've grown so so much, and I want to keep growing. I'm not sure that moving right now is going to help me grow. It WILL help me grow EVENTUALLY. and I 100% plan on doing it. But it might end up being a setback at the moment....
