Expectations.

I fucking hate expectations. There's nothing worse then someone expects you to act one way and you don't.

Actually, there is something worse. When you expect something awesome, potentially really awesome, to happen and it DOESN'T. It's not like I got my hopes up. I just felt like things were turning around. I started feeling way better about everything. Like, it's finally time to move on. It's finally time to start something new, you finally feel comfortable with yourself again. Honestly, after the shit I went through with the last one, I'm surprised I'm even considering wanting a new man! But I feel it's time. I'm ready to not be alone.

And something (or one) with some serious potential falls into my lap and what happens.... everything changes? All of a sudden? At first it was great! Light flirtation and conversation. Really thought things were on the same page. Now I'm lucking if I get 3 sentences, much less anything more solid. Oh, I'm alive with pleasure now that you've just walked away YET AGAIN. Get over here and make out with me you dumbass.

This is what I fucking hate about the whole "dating" world. I could never live on sex and the city. Not because I'm not dating girl but also because men are so flighty. They change their minds, or they don't show you how you really feel, and it's all just bullshit. And of course we haven't known each other THAT long so it's not like I can be like HEY. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. When did you stop being into me?

What I really want to know is how this happened before I was fucking aware of it. Within the span of a day, I swear. How do things flip around like that? How do MEN change their minds so quickly? And it all comes back... is it me? Is it something about me? When really I know it's not.

The point of the bitching: I'm ready, and the timing just isn't. There's a lot of guys I wish I had met NOW and not back then when I wasn't ready.